Just had lunch with Jim and that was enough activity for me.

I texted Bodhi to go kayaking but he didn’t write me back. I had a bit of anxiety, but it was really brief. I breathed and I let it go.

If I don’t feel mad comfortable talking with someone, there’s a reason. Maybe we just don’t go together.

He’s cute but the fear that overtakes me sometimes when it comes to boys is not worth it at all!

I can accept that i’m not ready.

But i can’t go through the angoisse of waiting for someone to text me, or looking for their approval.

I know i’m a wonderful person and it’s true that i’m shy and it takes a long time to understand me and know me but sorry, that’s the way it is right now. The right guy will take the time and he’ll see that i’m worth it.

Cause my love is fuckin strong and beautiful.

I just have to get back to feeling strong and beautiful in my own shoes. That’s what’s important to me.

And i can appreciate all the wonderful things out there.

I just hope some day soon someone wants to look inside me… Read my story. Love me just for existing. Because maybe i’m just right just the way I am.

Update: i’m so lame! Just after i wrote that he texted me and we made plans to go kayaking tomorrow morning! I’m so excited. And i’m too much. I know i’m just too much