for the past few days. It’s good for me because i get to spend time working out this cam thing.

It turns out it’s a proper job you have to work at and develop and grow your fanbase.

Fuck that.

I’m doing this because i thought it would be easy!!!!

Fuck you, things.

But now i’m in too deep.

I’ve already invested so much time and money in this. I have to keep going. 

I’m getting Twitter

And i’m so desensitized to sex now it’s weird. It’s nice, though.

It used to be the thought of sex made me terrified of being so excited.

Now i can enjoy it without thinking about it too much after. It’s just a thing that happens…

But i had a weird dream that i was camming for Mathieu.

I ended things with him by the way.

He was too clingy, always trying to take up all my time.

I love him but i’m busy!!

I told him i met someone else, which i kinda did. The married guy, Josh… on Skype…

But i talked to Jimbé bout it today and he said that i shoulda just told him the real reason. He might not want to hear it at first, but later he might think about it and it’ll help him in the future…

Still haven’t had a proper long session with Josh… we’re 12 hours apart!

He told me he really likes me.

Oh my God. He is hot.

But yeah. I’m learning about what kind of slut i am. Like at first i was being more of a nasty hoe… selling myself short, and talking real dirty, just to get it on.

But i think the real money is in being a classy hoe, building rapport with dudes who have money and getting to know them and then getting real dirty with them, for a long time.

I dunno, it’s too complicated!

I was just so horny and I wanted to finger myself in front of people.

For money.

Is that too much to ask?

Is that too much to ask?